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How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 5:31:01 PM
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SurrenderALL
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It is my husband helping a single mom in our church. It is not anything about our relationship in marriage. I know and trust my husband. I just by chance read the scripture of 1 Timothy 5 yesterday and had a short talk with him. So I post it in this forum, rather than the marriage one. Here is the story.
She is a single mom with two children. 4 and 12. The older one is sick and has special needs. I am glad to help them within my abilities. I take care of the children from time to time at weekends while she had to work. And the children love me too. The family stayed in our house for 3-4 weeks when they didn't have a place to stay last year. I posted a couple posts in some other forums here about her problems months ago when they were with us. Later they moved to there own apartment. However, life is still tough. She had a surgery in October. Her older child is going to have a surgery later this month. My husband and I keep close in touch with her and do our best to help her since then. Because the child will need to sit in wheelchair all the time after surgery we made a ramp for her apartment. But found she already bought one when we sent it to her apartment. She said she needs a ramp for carrying the child in wheelchair into her vehicle. My husband bought a handy one from internet after talking to me. When he sent to her home they found it didn't fit. Then he returned the one and bought another one. He sent it to her home. Later, she called my husband and said it was too heavy. My husband told her to unscrew it to make it two pieces, which was described in the manual. She said she didn't know how to make it. They they had to work together again to make it done. Anyhow, my husband had run several times to her home for make this work. I did know it everytime he went to help her though I didn't go together. Yesterday, on the way back home from church. My husband told me she said she doubted she had low glucose because she got coma a couple times. Then my husband said he would buy some strips and take his glucose meter to her. I said he was doing too much. He said she needs help. If I didn't let him to do it he asked me to do it (not just the glucose meter, everything she needs helps). I said "I do what I can do and what I am willing to do, but not whatever you ask me to do for her." I suggested "When she told you she got sick, ask her to a doctor. It's all what you can/should do."
We didn't get serious arguments on this yet. But I don't expect to have any. Please advice on this situation. It would be wonder with scripture support. Thanks!
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 5:58:50 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 2050
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From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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I do not think it's a good idea for husband to continue going to her home alone.
Do you have a woman's ministry at your church? If so, they may be able to minister to her needs.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 6:06:06 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 3120
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SurrenderALL
she said she doubted she had low glucose because she got coma a couple times.
She got coma? If she were in a coma, she wouldn't be talking! 
Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you meant. I hope so! 
And if her blood sugar levels are going in "coma" direction, whether high or low, she needs to be checking her glucose!!!
quote:
Then my husband said he would buy some strips and take his glucose meter to her.
I wouldn't give his meter to her -- he needs his meter!! Y'all could purchase an extra in the store, since they aren't as expensive as strips.
I don't think he's done too much so far, but any much more... just him... then it might be turning into a situation in which this woman sees your husband as her sole rescuer. It's better than more people from y'all's church jump in to help too. That way, the woman won't mooch off of any one person. (Not that she's going to, but it's still good to take the precaution.) Plus, the burden of helping -- and the joy of helping -- is spread among several people. And no one person is trying to be her "savior."
I think it would be good for you to help him carry out his plans to help her, but unless you two agree on a task that you will fulfill, then he shouldn't just assume that you will automatically take up the slack should he be unable to fulfill whatever task/errand he's promised to the woman.
Also, if you have an issue with his spending a lot of alone time with her (not that they're up to anything), then you definitely should talk with him about your concerns.
Again, projects, tasks, and errands done in a team of folks from your church (even a buddy who'd go w/ your husband) would definitely lessen the chance of anything untoward happening.
_____________________________
"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 6:18:37 PM
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CMT8808
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Actually she can get a glucometer free and Elena is right, it is the strips that cost. (This would prevent her from going into another diabetic coma and it seems she needs to be reminded to care for herself in order for her to continue to care for her children.)
She can ask her doctor about receiving a free glucometer as I had done this for a patient a few years back. Plus they also advertise it on television these days. Are you in the USA?
I agree that this woman needs more help that you and your husband can give and should get others involved or find other contacts that can also help. I would also remind your husband that His first responsibility is You and your needs.
CMT
_____________________________
formerly Delete 123
Never Underestimate the Power of God
Romans 8:28, Proverb 3:5
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 6:20:12 PM
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Psalms274
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quote:
Again, projects, tasks, and errands done in a team of folks from your church (even a buddy who'd go w/ your husband) would definitely lessen the chance of anything untoward happening.
This is what I was going to suggest. Does your church have a benevolence ministry where those in need are hooked up with those that can help? If not, what about the men's ministry stepping in and sharing the responsibility where two could go together to help out for those things that require a man's touch, and the woman's ministry stepping in for those things the ladies can do? It sounds like she help, but the blessing of helping her can be shared. She will benefit by more becoming involved also because it will give her the opportunity to develop more relationships with others AND there will not be the possibility of feeling like she is being too much of a burden on one family.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 7:09:12 PM
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SurrenderALL
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quote:
She got coma? If she were in a coma, she wouldn't be talking!
English is my second language. I think I confused you. She lost consciousness suddenly and fell to the ground and then woke up a couple minutes/seconds later. I had a talk with her to know this last night. I do think this is a health problem and she needs to see her doctor.
Our church is so small. When she had the surgery several months ago, some people did help her to cook, visited her. Otherwise, what I see is only prayers. Like setting her the ramp, I don't see there is a second person who would it. Even the pastor himself needs help now and then. (I actually have been considering moving to other churches for various reasons. )
Yes, it was my concern that she may take my husband as the only helper and rely on him too much. I wish some others can work together, but I really don't see any other. I do involve myself too. But it is not possible that I go whenever my husband goes.
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 7:30:09 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 3120
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From: Music City, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SurrenderALL
quote:
She got coma? If she were in a coma, she wouldn't be talking!
English is my second language. I think I confused you.
Ah! OK. I wondered if that might be the case. You do pretty well with English. May you keep growing in this skill and enjoying it!
quote:
She lost consciousness suddenly and fell to the ground and then woke up a couple minutes/seconds later. I had a talk with her to know this last night. I do think this is a health problem and she needs to see her doctor.
Yes, she does need to make her doctor aware. Fainting isn't good, no matter if the blood sugar was high or low. But it isn't totally unusual for a diabetic to experience it. (Blessedly, I never have. -- I am type 1, which means I'll be taking insulin the rest of my life.
quote:
Our church is so small. When she had the surgery several months ago, some people did help her to cook, visited her. Otherwise, what I see is only prayers. Like setting her the ramp, I don't see there is a second person who would it. Even the pastor himself needs help now and then. (I actually have been considering moving to other churches for various reasons.)
I hear ya. I used to be at a pretty small church. I remember how heavy the burden of ministry could sometimes be, when we tried to take on too much.
Maybe you can help your husband figure out some particular individuals to ask to help -- like, say, "Brother Larry" might be asked if he'd be willing to help out with one project... just the one y'all are working on at the moment. Take each situation/project as it comes.
quote:
Yes, it was my concern that she may take my husband as the only helper and rely on him too much. I wish some others can work together, but I really don't see any other. I do involve myself too. But it is not possible that I go whenever my husband goes.
That is frustrating, definitely.
Pray, asking God to put this need on the heart of another believer, whether that person is a member of your church or not, and to put your family and this unknown believer in each other's paths so that you can join together in ministering to this woman. God knows her needs, and He knows best how to use humans as His conduits of love and care. And He knows all about your current situation. Trust Him to come up with a creative solution.
_____________________________
"I like to stride, not mince." -- Maggie
Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 7:44:16 PM
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Psalms274
Posts: 2163
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SurrenderALL
quote:
She got coma? If she were in a coma, she wouldn't be talking!
English is my second language. I think I confused you. She lost consciousness suddenly and fell to the ground and then woke up a couple minutes/seconds later. I had a talk with her to know this last night. I do think this is a health problem and she needs to see her doctor.
Our church is so small. When she had the surgery several months ago, some people did help her to cook, visited her. Otherwise, what I see is only prayers. Like setting her the ramp, I don't see there is a second person who would it. Even the pastor himself needs help now and then. (I actually have been considering moving to other churches for various reasons. )
Yes, it was my concern that she may take my husband as the only helper and rely on him too much. I wish some others can work together, but I really don't see any other. I do involve myself too. But it is not possible that I go whenever my husband goes.
I use to go to a church with a total membership of less than 50 people (including the children). We all pitched in whenever it was needed. Talk to the Pastor and ask if you or your husband may address the congregation. Tell them this lady is part of your church body and is in need.
There are so many passages in the bible that tell us we are to live out our love for one another in tangible ways. For instance :
1 John 4:9-10 "This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
John gives us a tangible example of what God's love looks like. His love is a sacrificial love for us—love full of action and compassion. And we are charged to emulate (mirror, copy) the love that God shows us. His love is demonstrative. He doesn't just say, "I'm hoping the best for you because I love you," He steps in and does something. In the same way we are to step in when we see a need. Your church needs to hear that this lady needs their help and they need to step up and show God's love to her in a way that can be seen, not just talked about.
_____________________________
I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.
http://piswa.blogspot.com/
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/8/2010 10:19:16 PM
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Walker311
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Your husband is a good man but under the circumstances, he is too available and she is becoming more dependent on him. I would suggest that more females become involved in lending a hand and when a man is needed(such as your husband), you go with him. Common sense!
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/9/2010 10:37:13 AM
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rcjames
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From: Oklahoma
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My wife and I help a lot of single women, the key there being "My wife and I".
Sometimes I help get cars started, change flats, or mow lawns without my wife lending a hand, but it is 'Us" helping the person.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/9/2010 10:42:58 AM
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manda59
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From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SurrenderALL
But it is not possible that I go whenever my husband goes.
If you cannot go with him, then, unless someone else from church can accompany him, he should not go.
_____________________________
"What Manda said; well-stated and wise." deermousie, September 2010
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/9/2010 11:30:46 AM
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rcjames
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From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: SurrenderALL
But it is not possible that I go whenever my husband goes.
If you cannot go with him, then, unless someone else from church can accompany him, he should not go.
Well I disagree with you on this one.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/9/2010 11:46:33 AM
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buckifn
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Tell everything that is going on to your pastor and church leader's. They can network to find social service agencys that are set up to help with the problems she is having.
Medical care sounds like 1 of the urgent needs and your husband is not the one who needs to be involved with that. There are food banks etc that can help with food also.
Yes, the church as a body should do what it can to help but there is nothing wrong with using community resources as well.
Your husband is way over appropriate boundaries.
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/9/2010 4:50:01 PM
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allisonbrett
Posts: 467
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From: A bit north of the Big Chicken
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This is my thought. To answer your question, the way a married man can continue to help a single mom is with the help of his wife. While the husband may meet various needs (fixing things, etc) the wife can mentor and reach out in a more emotional way. The two should stand united in their desire to help this single mom. Never allow yourself to be in a place of temptation or misunderstanding.
_____________________________
Allison
A work in progress so please be patient, God is still working on me. Ouch, it sure is painful!
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 9:59:55 AM
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JohnD70X7
Posts: 100
Joined: 2/1/2010
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SurrenderALL
It is my husband helping a single mom in our church. It is not anything about our relationship in marriage. I know and trust my husband. I just by chance read the scripture of 1 Timothy 5 yesterday and had a short talk with him. So I post it in this forum, rather than the marriage one. Here is the story.
She is a single mom with two children. 4 and 12. The older one is sick and has special needs. I am glad to help them within my abilities. I take care of the children from time to time at weekends while she had to work. And the children love me too. The family stayed in our house for 3-4 weeks when they didn't have a place to stay last year. I posted a couple posts in some other forums here about her problems months ago when they were with us. Later they moved to there own apartment. However, life is still tough. She had a surgery in October. Her older child is going to have a surgery later this month. My husband and I keep close in touch with her and do our best to help her since then. Because the child will need to sit in wheelchair all the time after surgery we made a ramp for her apartment. But found she already bought one when we sent it to her apartment. She said she needs a ramp for carrying the child in wheelchair into her vehicle. My husband bought a handy one from internet after talking to me. When he sent to her home they found it didn't fit. Then he returned the one and bought another one. He sent it to her home. Later, she called my husband and said it was too heavy. My husband told her to unscrew it to make it two pieces, which was described in the manual. She said she didn't know how to make it. They they had to work together again to make it done. Anyhow, my husband had run several times to her home for make this work. I did know it everytime he went to help her though I didn't go together. Yesterday, on the way back home from church. My husband told me she said she doubted she had low glucose because she got coma a couple times. Then my husband said he would buy some strips and take his glucose meter to her. I said he was doing too much. He said she needs help. If I didn't let him to do it he asked me to do it (not just the glucose meter, everything she needs helps). I said "I do what I can do and what I am willing to do, but not whatever you ask me to do for her." I suggested "When she told you she got sick, ask her to a doctor. It's all what you can/should do."
We didn't get serious arguments on this yet. But I don't expect to have any. Please advice on this situation. It would be wonder with scripture support. Thanks!
I get clobbered every time I address this subject. But if my opinion can help others avoid what took me many years to figure out then hey... bludgeon away... my blood and tears will have been for a good cause...
Human nature is not a thing to be underestimated nor to lower one's guard against under any circumstances ever...
People can manage to behave in temporary and / or extraordinary circumstances... BUT... we all daily wage war against the flesh and too often the flesh either overcomes or sneaks in through a valve or vent or drain or window in our personal make up we are unprepared for...
We are beasts by human nature. And it is best to put certain safeguards / restrictions into practice especially when we commit to one in marriage... putting an end to the opposite sex buddy list would be a start...
But now you mention a mother in need. There are support groups of men and women and couples in the Church who can meet the needs of a single mom in distress or whatever. Even the chivalry many guys feel (as I used to) coming to the rescue of a maid in distress... can turn from everything noble to everything evil in an exchange of "chemistry" lasting only a moment...
As I said, do what you must in a temporary / emergency circumstance... but then make immediate other arrangements if the need or situation is ongoing. FYI and IMHO.
God bless.
_____________________________
Give to those who hold to untruth:
Answers they cannot question,
And questions they cannot answer.
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 11:58:22 AM
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COGOD
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SURRENDER ALL,
YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ARE TRYING TO HELP HER BUT YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD NOT GO TO HER HOUSE WITHOUT ANOTHER MAN OR YOU WITH HIM. THE BIBLE SAYS FOR US TO NOT LET OUR GOOD BE EVIL SPOKEN OF.
MY HUSBAND AND I PASTOR A SMALL CHURCH AND HE NEVER EVER VISITS ANY OF OUR SINGLE LADIES WITHOUT ME OR ONE OF THE CHURCH BROTHERS. IF A WOMAN COMES TO OUR HOUSE WHICH IS BESIDE THE CHURCH, IF I AM NOT HOME, HE WILL NOT INVITE HER IN. IF HE GOES TO THE CHURCH EARLY AND I HAVEN'T LEFT YET, HE WILL STAY ON THE PLATFORM OR PLAY WITH THE PIANO UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE COMES IN. HE IS A TRUST WORTHY MAN. WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED 43 YRS - NEVER NO OTHER WOMAN BUT ME BUT HE HAS KEPT THE MINISTRY CLEAN. THE PEOPLE RESPECT HIM FOR THIS. IF BY CHANCE HE WOULD HAVE TO PICK UP ONE OF OUR LADIES (EX. IF HER CAR BROKE DOWN) HE WOULD ASK HER TO SIT IN THE BACKSEAT OR WAIT WITH HER TILL HELP CAME.
BEING IN THE MINISTRY IS HARD BUT GOD CALLED HIM TO PREACH AND LEAD PEOPLE TO JESUS. HIS JOB DESCRIPTION IS THAT PLUS BEING A HUSBAND TO YOU - BUT HE CAN'T HELP THE WHOLE WORLD. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SINGLE WOMEN NEEDING HELP BUT HE DOES NEED TO HAVE OTHERS HELP HIM BY GOING WITH HIM. THERE HAVE BEEN MANY MINISTERS OVER THE YEARS WHO HAVE RUINED THEIR MINISTRY BECAUSE OF WOMEN, MONEY AND FAME. THE DEVIL DOESN'T CARE HOW HE RUINS A MINISTRY SO JUST HE RUINS IT.
MAYBE YOUR HUSBAND COULD ASK FOR HELP FROM LARGER CHURCHES IN TOWN OR HIS CHURCH ORGANIZATION LEADERS TO GIVE HIM SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO HELP HER.
I HATE TO SAY THIS BUT USUALLY THE PEOPLE YOU HELP THE MOST ARE THE ONES YOU LOSE ANYWAY. IT WOULD BE BETTER TO LOSE HER TO A LARGER CHURCH THAN LOSE YOUR INTERGITY IN THE COMMUNITY BY JEOPARDIZING HIS REPUTATION.
YOU BOTH SOUND LIKE YOU REALLY LOVE THE LORD AND ARE DOING EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO MAKE THE CHURCH A GREAT PLACE TO GO TO HEAVEN FROM. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.
_____________________________
I WILL BLESS THE LORD AT ALL TIMES, HIS PRAISE SHALL CONTINUALLY BE IN MY MOUTH.
WHAT SHALL I RENDER UNTO THE LORD FOR ALL HIS BENEFITS TOWARD ME?
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 12:03:47 PM
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autumnlullaby
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While it's nice that your husband is so helpful and serving others, I don't think it's a good idea for him to keep going to her house by himself. Also, I hate to say it, but this woman seems like she's being way too dependent on him, and is taking advantage of his kindness.
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 2:46:00 PM
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SurrenderALL
Posts: 29
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Thank you everyone for valuable advices. I generally got the idea. I am going to talk with my husband about my concern. I will bring it to our church about her needs too so that hopefully the church can help her as a unity. I wish she can rely on our church as her big family. Even our church is really small, less than 25 including children. And most of the families have 1-2 little children that take the parents' time and attention. We are the only family free from little ones except the couple over 70. Another two families don't have little kids, but only the wives serve actively. Please remember her and our church in your prayers. Thanks a lot!
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 4:18:39 PM
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CindySc
Posts: 3345
Joined: 12/17/2008
From: a two little redlight town
Status: online
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Dear SurrenderALL-
We had a similar situation in our neighborhood. A young lady with small children and her husband were divorced. She would ask the husband of one of our neighbor's to help her with tasks around the house, but it began to bother his wife and she finally told him that she would rather he not go over there unless she could be present, which he agreed to. A couple of weeks later a man knocked on her door and asked where this neighbor lived, he said she went to his church and had asked him at church if he could help her with something and he was trying to find her house (he was a married man). That ended up being the lady's next husband, he left his wife and family for her. It is a wise decision to either go along with your husband or have fellow church members present, don't refuse to help her, she obviously needs help, just make sure you use wisdom when doing so.
_____________________________
Now the Lord is the spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.
II Corinthians 3:17
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 7:58:21 PM
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rcjames
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From: Oklahoma
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Do some people really believe that if a good and Godly man finds himself alone with a woman not his wife that he turns into some kind of serial rapist or aldulterer?
I find that kind of thinking really astounding.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 8:12:21 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 2098
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No, RC, I certainly do not think that.
But I think the OP is asking for wisdom from others. And it sounds like this woman could very well develop a dependence on her husband and THAT would be inappropriate. So perhaps wisdom would take measures to prevent that happening.
There is the 'appearance of evil' that could also be a concern here. And a godly concern too.
I don't think occasional help from the husband is out of place. And, certainly, the wife needs to be involved as much as she is able and willing. But I think the pastor and the church needs to be kept involved and aware of what is going on. And the woman needs to be helped in becoming self reliant.
These questions are needful and I applaud this woman (the OP) for asking for help. Her concern may circumvent a future problem. Bless you for asking! LL
_____________________________
Liveloved
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 8:19:31 PM
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TMeeks
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Not every one RC. But, wisdom is a good thing and decorum with wisdom is even better. You take care of yourself. That's fine.
But, (1) we do not know the spiritual status of the woman. (2) We don't know the MENTAL state of the woman. Those two factors, alone, should make a call for caution the wise road to take.
I'm always amazed that your life and attitude seems to be the benchmark for all human behaviour in the church. I can assure you that it is NOT and may not even be the norm.
quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
Do some people really believe that if a good and Godly man finds himself alone with a woman not his wife that he turns into some kind of serial rapist or aldulterer?
I find that kind of thinking really astounding.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Discovery with Microscopes Blog
Create & Cut Crafting
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/10/2010 9:00:55 PM
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Judson50
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I would NEVER find it appropriate for a married man to be THAT involved in ANY woman's life (Other than his immediate family - sister-in-laws is the most questionable in my mind of the IMMEDIATE family).
With that said, I would come with him EVERY TIME. If you don't have time, make it. IF he is ONLY helping her, he will have NO problem. If he has a problem with you coming, then you MAY have a problem on your hands.
IF there is ONE THING I learned in leading people at my Church and working in Human Resources - people are sinners and NOTHING is impossible. EVEN IF YOU LOVE THEM.
I don't say this to spark jelousy or scare you. I say it so help you.
_____________________________
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy Proverbs 27:6
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/12/2010 1:21:23 PM
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DaveW
Posts: 4029
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Liveloved
There is the 'appearance of evil' that could also be a concern here. Grrr.
What is it going to take to make people see that that verse is NOT talking about what may look bad? Indeed Jesus did a LOT of things that "appeared evil" in the sense of looking bad.
It is talking about every form (true) evil appears in.
_____________________________
Avatar is my son Caleb and Leah on their wedding 12/20/09
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RE: How can a married man help a single mom? - 2/12/2010 3:31:05 PM
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herestoresmysoul
Posts: 1956
Joined: 3/13/2009
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Walker311
Your husband is a good man but under the circumstances, he is too available and she is becoming more dependent on him. I would suggest that more females become involved in lending a hand and when a man is needed(such as your husband), you go with him. Common sense!
I agree with this.Single mums can be very needy and she may well get too close to him and dependant on him.Either you both go or another woman goes. There has to be a balance here between your marriage and family and her.
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