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RE: courtship - 2/8/2010 2:50:43 PM
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jhuperetes
Posts: 1948
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Thanks bolt..
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RE: courtship - 2/8/2010 4:48:56 PM
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KIG877
Posts: 406
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well somebody who is in their 40's or 50's and no parents
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RE: courtship - 2/8/2010 5:59:37 PM
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CMT8808
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I know my husband when we first started out, insisted on meeting my whole family. (We even took a few trips out of state)
When I said I would marry him, he went and spoke with my mother and promised her that he would take care of me.
This is for Kig877. My husband was 55 y/o at the time.
Having no parents, like I have now I would ask a close and trusted friend if I felt that I needed someone's approval.
CMT
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RE: courtship - 2/8/2010 6:01:43 PM
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KIG877
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thanks that helped a lot
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RE: courtship - 2/9/2010 3:30:00 PM
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KIG877
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can a person court at church
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RE: courtship - 2/9/2010 4:18:46 PM
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ta_mosquito
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At church? Well, they should be focusing on the sermon instead of courting, but yes, they can intentionally get to know and interact with their significant other in church. Why not?
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RE: courtship - 2/9/2010 5:30:32 PM
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KIG877
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I see, I just never heard of church as sort of a date, like talking before church and after kinda of different 
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RE: courtship - 2/9/2010 6:06:36 PM
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Elena1030
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From: Music City, USA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KIG877
I see, I just never heard of church as sort of a date, like talking before church and after kinda of different
Two dear friends met at my church and have spent a lot of their dating/courtship time being together at church... although, they don't act all lovey-dovey about it and just behave as two friends would. They're in my SS class and are in choir w/ me. And she joined our group of friends and our little small-group Bible study early on, so they spent much time together that way too.
It's totally fine to make a connection with someone who is a member of your church... and to be together while you're at church doing the same things.
And being in one's 40s or 50s... or even 60s, 70s, 80s, or 90s... it's not too late for a first love... or to find a new love!
Go for it! (As long as the person's a good choice, of course. )
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Prayer thread for singles who desire to marry someday
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RE: courtship - 2/9/2010 9:06:28 PM
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KIG877
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lol I think i will 
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RE: courtship - 2/9/2010 9:45:07 PM
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deermousie
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CMT8808
Having no parents, like I have now I would ask a close and trusted friend if I felt that I needed someone's approval.
It's not so much approval but more like sane advice, asking the hard questions and checking their reputation.
The couple will make their own choice in the end, but it's really a lot like getting help when trying to decide to buy a car. Not very romantic, that idea, but it could protect you from buying a lemon.
For older courters, they already know how life works and where many of the open manholes are, so the help aspect probably isn't important. Maybe having someone help walk through their feelings would be helpful; dunno. I've never seen this issue addressed by anyone in a book or from the pulpit. I'm guessing no one thinks it's important.
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RE: courtship - 2/10/2010 9:38:19 AM
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mec
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Kig, I think you could court at church, theres nothing wrong with that.....to me at least
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RE: courtship - 2/11/2010 12:32:17 AM
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jhuperetes
Posts: 1948
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You are in the wrong voting district.
Dead people can marry, divorce, and vote - you just have to pay off locate the right official.
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RE: courtship - 2/11/2010 1:21:33 PM
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KIG877
Posts: 406
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lol
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RE: courtship - 2/11/2010 3:58:39 PM
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Kerrlaw
Posts: 5257
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From: Big Orange Country
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mec
ok, I finally decided to give my input here.
I think that courtship and dating are in fact the same thing. You date who you think you will marry. Not date for the sense of dating in general. Whats the purpose of that?
And yes its exclusive the whole time, from the first date till the last or until you decide to get married.
I have always thought that the purpose of dating was to get to know someone that you have an interest in. Once you get to know them, you (meaning both parties) decide whether or not to continue the dating relationship with a view toward marriage. It may take one date or several to make this decision.
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RE: courtship - 2/11/2010 4:00:26 PM
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jhuperetes
Posts: 1948
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What do you call it when a man and a woman have lunch together, yet neither have intentions to get married to each other?
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RE: courtship - 2/12/2010 12:48:50 PM
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KIG877
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how long did you date before you got engaged
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RE: courtship - 2/14/2010 6:15:39 AM
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wretched1
Posts: 283
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From: The state of confusion.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KIG877
how long did you date before you got engaged In this thread, you asked:
how long would you court a women,and how would you bring the subject up
Many have told you that there is no specific time line and I will add that you really would not want to follow a formula in this realm.
As far as bringing the subject up - that too is going to vary widely. Partly because people are different and partly because people have different concepts of what the term courtship even means (if they have any concept at all).
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C.S. Lewis
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RE: courtship - 2/14/2010 8:27:36 AM
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wretched1
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bolt.
~~~
And as you date, you would want to occasionally ponder, "What would life look like with this person as my spouse?" Meaning, in practical terms, that all options are open, but if you get to know someone and conclude, "Actually, I don't think I could marry them." Then you don't really want to carry on with dating at that point.~~~ Excellent summation, but I might add that people and situations can be so different... The pondering of the question "What would life look like with this person as my spouse?" could happen for months/years while spending many, many hours with this person and never going on a traditional date*.
In my case, I was thinking of that months before potential mate was.
*not that you put any limitations on what "as you date" meant - which is one of the reasons why it was an excellent summation. :-)
quote:
ORIGINAL: bolt.
~~~
...the 'qualification round' is over, and the candidate has basic approval. In my case, I had already expressed this to my potential mate prior to asking her on a "date". This was not by design or because of some church belief/teaching - it is just how it happened. While we were in college, we helped w/ a youth group - so you know the topics/situations that can come up.
I knew where she stood on dating, how many kids she wanted to have, interracial marriage, adoption (adopting other races), disciple methods, money/giving, abstinence, porn/purity, avoiding temptation. We dealt w/ abused kids, church politics and a denomination splitting over women pastors in the pulpit. We worked weekend retreats for our youth group and other churches - we also worked in the church nursery.
We were dating other people during this time, so the thought of us as a couple was not there - until suddenly, it was. We were married a few months later and that was several decades ago.
So - to the OP, like others have stated - there is no set timeline for any stage of a relationship and the idea/concept of courting is brought up in very different ways... or maybe my DW and I are too atypical to be a part of the answer to your question.
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C.S. Lewis
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